Nothing To See Here

He just likes structure

It’s all working out

The kids are more quiet

I’ll  learn to shut my mouth.

 

He doesn’t yell

He just leaves the room

But I know I should learn

To meet my needs alone.

 

There’s no follow through

In intimate times

But I cried today

So “the pressure’s too high.”

 

He sets his watch

To limit my speech

It makes me feel panic

But it’s not over-reach.

 

If I need to talk

About anything hard

I can get on his schedule

And he’ll spare me an hour.

 

He argues his right

To leave on a whim

And why should I care

If I really trust him?

 

The “one who got away”

Texts all the time

But since he told me

I should “relax, it is fine.”

 

“I watched tv with you

What more do you need?

If that’s not enough

You’re the problem, not me.”

 

I need him too much

I should be satisfied

To be alone

Or with the times he designed

 

“I’m not attracted to you”

He says with a smirk

But he doesn’t mean it “that way”

He isn’t a jerk

 

“I won’t cry when you die”

His voice calmly sings

But “it’s normal and valid

Don’t make it a thing.”

 

Every minute is scheduled

But if I need help

This is my option

Or else, shut my mouth.

 

“It’s your fault he cheated

you were probably too much

If I’d known before marriage

I would have run”

 

“you are so needy

Just leave me be

If you stay quiet enough

I might want intimacy”

 

“why do you fight

About everything?

If you just agreed

You’d get all that you need”

 

“It’s not what you did

Nothing specific you say

It’s how you make me feel

It’s just your way”

 

“Did you know you abused me

That time you were sad?

We disagreed in the car

And you made me feel bad.”

 

Too little too late

I told you before

You are crazy and drama

Time to walk out the door

 

’I’m just the problem

And other lies I told

Because it was more painful

To say “that word”